1.「当人们问你要不要抱他们的宝宝。」我怕…
![When you'd rather carry groceries:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084bb09769.png)
2. 或是他们直接把宝宝给你的时候…「我要拿他怎么办?」
![But get stuck in an awkward situation anyway:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084bbbc9c5.png)
3.「有人把宝宝递给我,噢,不用欸,谢谢。」(把宝宝放地上。)
![And have to create your own solution:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084bcd11a8.jpg)
4. 家人跟朋友:「有什么比有小孩更棒啊?」我:「宁静跟钱钱啊。」
![When money buys happiness:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084bd3ee16.png)
5.「看着父母在公众场合处理他们叫个不停的小孩,然后试着想想看那天到底有没有做好避孕。」吵个不停的小孩是最好的避孕措施?
![When loud kids serve as an effective reminder:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084bdcefcf.png)
6.「这会是我的汽车贴纸。」
![When your car decal has a far more important detail:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084bec16ba.png)
7. 当你宁可听到隔壁邻居整修房子。「我隔壁邻居小孩正在大声哭闹、尖叫。」
![When you'd rather hear a jackhammer:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084bf832fb.png)
8.「你有小孩吗?」
![When you have the perfect answer to this annoying question:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c0ec986.png)
9.「我不在乎我的小孩是男是女,只要是只健康的小狗就可以了。」这题简单。
![And only want the best for your dog child:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c1af1c8.png)
10.「我当时在试穿这样洋装,没发现有个小女孩从头到尾一直盯着我。」
![When some kids can't stay in their lane:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c24b8db.png)
11. 当你的眼神开始带有威胁。「当有小孩不停盯着你看。」
![When your stare becomes hostile:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c3d127c.png)
12. 当你试着对宝宝好,结果宝宝回给你一个X子脸。「我:(对宝宝微笑)。宝宝:(没有回以微笑)。我:『去你的咧。』」
![And so you try to be nice but a baby hits you with that resting bitchface:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c53d2c8.png)
13. 我:「我不想要有小孩。」方圆百哩的成人:『胡说什么!你几年后就会有了,而且很多!孩子们是多美妙的东西啊,你会爱死他们的。』
![When you say you've got a different life plan:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c5b3248.png)
14.「我妈妈等我给她抱孙子。」
![And then keep your parents waiting a little too long:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c66edf4.png)
15.「我真的受够那些带小孩的人,他们真的无所不在欸!」
![When you feel personally attacked in public:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c7d4509.png)
16. 当你承认这一点。「我不喜欢小孩。甚至连我是小孩的时候都不喜欢小孩。」
![When you acknowledge your own faults:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c8ec6ae.jpg)
17.「我恨小孩。」『但你也曾经是小孩啊。』但你也知道你才不是“那些小孩”咧。
![But you obviously know that you were never truly "one of those kids":](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c93b0a0.png)
18. 当你拒绝把你的500美元 (约1.6万台币) 手机借小朋友。「小朋友像这样:『你的手机里有游戏吗?』」
![When you refuse to hand over your $500 phone to a child:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084c9df0aa.png)
19. 当你想到要有小孩就让你快窒息。「要怀孕了,我:」
![When the idea of having kids makes you lose your breath:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084ca9da37.png)
20.「我下午1点醒来,但我还是可以继续睡到爽为止,因为我他X的没小孩。」
![When you realize how much you value sleep:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084cb64f7b.png)
21. 而且当你想到你会变成这样的父母。「我爱死我忘恩负义的小孩了。」
![And finally, when you imagine what you would be like as a parent:](http://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/579084cc5f1db.png)
来源:Buzzfeed
再来看看6个有生小孩跟没生小孩的差别~
(往下還有更多精彩文章!)